I want to do serious blogging

I miss writing. In general. Not minding whether it's for an audience or for myself. But it helps to know that in writing for an audience, one has to follow certain patterns in order to deliver the message effectively. The main objective is to be understood and to inspire.

I am having ideas for a blog but I don't know if it will fly.

But I am definitely thinking about it. Maybe it's about time that I took blogging seriously.

Day 39

Past day 39 of my post-resignation season, I think the boredom is getting to me and I am wondering more than ever what will come out of this- me waking up anytime I want, doing household chores, cooking, playing guitar, dancing in front of the xbox console, contemplating of times that have passed, reading books, watching television and eating whatever snacks I can get my hands on. The worst would probably be waiting on all my hardworking family members to come home anytime...I mean I am usually comfortable being alone, as I am a natural introvert, but too much of it can be so boring... like having too much of a steaming mug of hot chocolate (which I am enjoying now).

This thought is keeping me awake at 12:30am now. Oh Lord. Please tell me what to do. 

Or maybe it's me being impatient and I should enjoy this. But not doing anything challenging really drives me nuts. I dislike playing the housekeeper role. It's something everyone is expected to do/ can do anyway... so mundane, so common... And I wonder why I have to go through with this...ayyyy obedience, is it?

To be continued... 

Sheep 100

What can separate me from you?

What can separate me from your love?
Who can separate me from you?
Who can separate me from your love?

All eyes on Jesus, on Jesus

I was lost and now I'm found

Was in fear, now safe and sound

All my life I had conformed

Now with you I am transformed

Face down and fallen to the ground

Humbled by your majesty

Your love has turned my life around

Your love has set me free
Jesus, Jesus

Who can say what comes tomorrow

Who can reason about yesterday

I fear nothing because I know

You hold me each and every day

What can separate me from you?
What can separate me from your love?
Who can separate me from you?
Who can separate me from your love?
All hope in Jesus, in Jesus

On true love

The thing with true love is, you don't always expect it to end up with you standing with  someone by your side. Sometimes it means standing alone. Sometimes it means walking away from something or someone you hold dear. Sometimes it means letting go. Sometimes it means getting over something and moving on with life. Sometimes it means holding absolute silence. Sometimes it means being loud. Sometimes it means holding on tightly. Sometimes it means stepping up. Sometimes it means stepping forward. And sometimes, yes, it means standing next to someone you hold dear, but what I mean to remind you of is that, that's not all there is to being really in love. And to know more about love, we'll need to learn from the Author who made Himself into nothing and loved us faithfully with the deepest love the world has ever known.

Wanting His Reason

Recently, I have been more than a little sulky about losing my shot at one of my most precious ambitions. It was a long wait before I realized that dream. It takes me a while to make my decisions, but when I do put my bills on something, I am not one to typically sit around and wait for the stars to fall on me. I am the go-getter who believes that good things come to those who go for it. 

But I was then stuck in this very profound disappointment. Why, Lord... I asked... for many weeks I had asked that, even with the idea that I don't deserve anything and I am at his mercy. I simply wanted his reason.

I realize that when God puts away one of our toys, He leads our eyes to notice a more suitable one... and I believe that whatever he puts in my hand, I'd be satisfied because He is more than enough for me.

Walkout

I'm sorry for hurting you the way I did

I regret telling you you're all that I need

In fact you're the only one in my heart

And I wish we didn't have to walk away, apart

Should I have held my tongue and strongly denied

Your heart that you offered with all your mind?

No, never! But now as I'm watching you leave

I wish I had said otherwise and refused to receive...

The heart of my love- your heart, your heart... 

You know I care for all that you are. 

My leaving is not just your loss, but mine. 

(But I've scanned the skies for more than a sign.) 

In the silence, my heart cries out to you:

I would not leave you if I didn't love you.

Not if I didn't know what is meant to be, 

Not if He didn't tell me to set you free. 

You say I'm strong so I let you go,

But I say He's strong, so I did let go. 

God knows my heart- and you know what's true: 

I would not leave you if I didn't love you. 

I would not leave you if I didn't love you. 

Lessons from Wikichurch

What I learned from reading Wikichurch:

1. There is no such thing as "mature enough" for any Christian. I believe that we are all in working progress until the Lord comes. Like the way Jesus had first sent the twelve, we are being given the holy commission to make disciples of all nations. Note that these men were uneducated commoners who were, by their social standards, not that significant. If I wait for the day til I reach that "maturity" that most people wish for, then I'm never gonna be ready. Why? Because growth can only come by obeying God and doing the holy work He has assigned to us.

2. Discipleship is a relationship, so it requires deep and patient understanding. Everyone has a unique walk with God. Not everyone can see or understand things the way I do. Even if we are all in the same faith, we are not- and will never be- exactly alike. I ought to concern myself with understanding the special needs of the people around me and keeping myself open enough to help them in God's love. Patience and understanding. And mercy. Hehehe. 

3. Discipleship must be fun. Some time before, one of my advisers asked me, "Are you having fun (with fellowship)?" I thought it was a minor thing...until I thought about it deeply and realized that I should not miss that significant point. All relationships must have a fun factor. Not all the time, but it MUST be pleasant and nurturing for all those engaged. Especially for Christians, this must not be missed. Oo nga naman. Saan ba ko nakakita ng "cute couple" na hindi masaya at kinikilig?

Sounds too basic? Yeah, but these are striking for me...makes me wonder... hmmm

That's it. :)